Unzipping Your Stock Body After Coming Home

There is a moment after you get home from work when you not only take your pants off, but you also unzip the stock body you’ve been wearing, the one that’s been keeping your fake personality intact all day. Like some sort of alien, you must peel off this second skin to re-ingratiate yourself to who you really are.

If you don’t, you could be at strong risk for Dissociative Identity Disorder, which you probably already have anyway. Still, it can’t hurt to keep your armor off as you pour yourself an oversized glass of wine and draw a bath that you can semi-enjoy amid the shitty ambience of your molded tile bathroom. When you put it back on in the morning, you’ll at least have a clean husk to shove into it.