When Other People Get Bullshit Holidays Off and You Don’t

For those who may have had Columbus Day (the most made up holiday in existence after Black Friday) off, and are possibly complaining about having to go back to work today, it’s important to consider that some office workers never get any bullshit holidays off at all. Not even President’s Day. Because the work of a Midtown corporate shill is never over. There are always more papers to stare at blankly, more K-cup coffee to make and then not drink because it tastes fucking nasty and more breaks to take so you can subject yourself to Times Square just to feel alive again.

But there is some small consolation in being the only one who works on major and minor holidays: most of Midtown tends to be desolate. Not the touristy parts, but the office worker parts. Which means that Pret A Manger, Subway, Chop’t and Duane Reade are all yours for the pillaging. So you can indulge in stuffing your face without having to deal with the hordes of people also fighting for sustenance during the Midtown feeding frenzy. Then you can kick start your metabolism with a coffee or three from the now vacant Starbucks that isn’t being overrun because you’re the only one working within a seven mile radius. So you see, there’s a silver lining in everything.