With each passing year marked by the advent of January, New Yorkers make the solemn vow to be better–to try harder. Phenomenons like “Sober January” and reduced priced gym memberships do their best to lead people back to the path of virtue.
But when you’re an office worker, you know better than to make deals with yourself. In fact, you know that things are only going to get worse, especially when it comes to the state of your “career” a.k.a. sitting in a cubicle in Midtown when everyone else around you seems to have a laid-back setup in a DUMBO “open work space.” And while your apathy leads to others in your company getting promoted to equally menial jobs with longer titles, you’ll watch another year go by in the trenches, never bothering to make false resolutions about self-improvement in the working world, as “self-improvement” in this case means allowing them to castrate you completely.