Midtown and Its Theater District Proximity: Reminding You That All Your Favorite Movies Have Been Turned Into Shit Musicals

Even if you’re not abreast of theater scene in any capacity, you will be once you start working in Midtown. A veritable smorgasbord of all the latest appalling adaptations of your favorite films into terrible musicals or plays, this vicinity was designed solely for the purpose of employing those who couldn’t make it into more legitimate fare, such as Book of Mormon or, I don’t know, a movie.

Soon, you start to see advertisements for shows you never wanted to know about, like how Honeymoon in Vegas, what was once an unblemished and immaculate Sarah Jessica Parker/Nicolas Cage movie, is now playing on West 41st Street (with Tony Danza in the Nic Cage role no less), taunting you with how easy it is to tarnish your favorite films with a single producer’s wallet. Just because a movie is good/amazing does not mean it is destined to be an incredible Broadway musical. Can we please all remember that before they adapt something truly untouchable like American Psycho? Oh wait, that’s already happening.