“Wanna Go to the Conference Room?” & Other Phrases One Is Never Fond of Hearing

When you’re an automaton in the working world, you tend to become desensitized to ominous phrases or questions. For instance, a gentle demand like “Wanna go to the conference room?” can’t even faze you anymore. But any normal person (a.k.a. non-office worker) might find such jargon alarming. Who wants to be alone in a room with someone as unattractive as the types who make it to middle management, after all?

Everyone knows that going into a conference room never leads to anything good–unless it’s a porno narrative. The need for someone to speak to you privately usually means you’re about to get sacked or warned that you’re on the precipice of being sacked. Similar phrases, such as “May I speak with you for a moment?” or “Do you have second?”, are equally as unpleasant and foreboding. This is why it’s best to keep a low profile as a diminutive cog in the wheel.