Woody Allen has told us a few lies in his day, and one of the greatest is that 80% of success is showing up. Maybe that was the case back in the 80s and 90s, when a certain laxity pervaded the hiring tableau, and you could get away with fabricating a lot of shit on your resume thanks to the non-existence of the internet as you eternal paper trail. But it’s not now.
Still, one can’t help but admire the Chrissy Teigen at the Oscars sentiment of a select few office workers who choose to dress in their best ball gown, put a pound of makeup on and merely plant their body in a chair in the vain hope that this will be an adequate display of hard work and “caring” for the boss man. And, in truth, it should be. Isn’t it enough that they have your body for the bulk of the week? Now, they want your mind and wakefulness too? I don’t think so. Especially if you’re surrounded by co-workers as creepy as Nicole Kidman’s hands.