“I’m Trying A New Salad Today” & Other Scintillating Office Announcements

When you’re salaried without a worry in the world other than paying your next credit card bill, you tend to become what’s known as “fat and happy.” You lose your edge and start to make embarrassing announcements of a non sequitur nature that other people have no interest in.

One such announcement might include proudly declaring to a co-worker, “I’m trying a new salad today.” Whether this means you’ve subjected yourself to the lobotomy-inducing effects of going to Chop’t or you’ve made it yourself in the sad ambience of your overpriced apartment, the fact that you’re declaring it shamelessly to others means that you’ve become part of the scintillating office conversation trap that consists of talking about TV, the weather, family and other drab fare at the proverbial water cooler. Thus: get out before you lose any ability whatsoever to have a meaningful exchange with fellow human beings.