Chop Your Head Off If You Wait in Line at Chop’t

The Midtown feeding frenzy is seemingly rife with options. But what it always comes down to is Pret A Manger, Subway and Chop’t. The latter, of course, is the biggest shit show with regards to how burgeoning the line can get and how long people can wait in order to gain what they perceive as a necessary “healthful” lunch to accompany their Lululemon-filled workout at some point in the day.

Deemed a “creative salad company,” the only source of inventiveness at Chop’t is the ways in which they can torture you with slowly prepared food that you could have just bought at Trader Joe’s and made back at your pathetic excuse of a break room. In many ways, Chop’t is the representation of Midtown: catering to latently lazy people who like to think that they’re being “efficient” and “salubrious” by eating express-made salads. But behind the metaphorical mask of Chopt’s Oz, there is nothing more than a little man making a profit off your willingness to stand in a queue with the rest of the herd.