Dropping Subtle Hints About Your Enthusiasm for Working As the Holidays Approach

While, granted, there is no point during the year when anyone is desirous of performing the tasks entailed by that monosyllabic noun–work–the lack of interest is at a particular zenith during the month of December, when the promise of one of the only assured times of vacation in the United States looms large. It’s all one can think about, really, practically taste like the whipped cream in consistently well-made Starbucks hot chocolate. And even if the tradeoff is being among the group of people who knew you before New York transformed you into someone both wizened and wiser, it’s still far superior to being trapped in a box.

And, speaking of boxes, the shrewd office worker will take their vacation time before other co-workers start giving out their gifts to avoid participating in the charade altogether. Even though it might mean having to come back sooner–like say, the day after Christmas–one can’t put a price on leaving earlier, during the period of cube life when pretending to work is at its most blatant. Because to stay up until the last minute could result in some very bizarre and incriminating behavior that exhibits just how much you don’t want to be present–like sporting the word “NO” on your body, for example. Thus, the discerning office worker will put in her request for her two weeks from the 16th to the 26th of December (because the corporation is cruel and deems a “week” as five days from a vacation standpoint when it should be seven). It’s safer than putting your “bad attitude” about working on full display as your threshold for feigning is chipped away at like the icy streets of New York.