When All You Wanna Tell Someone In An Application or Interview Is “I Am Job”

Nothing is more effective than actually testing something (or, in this case, someone) out in motion for use. But it’s usually impossible to get to this, as my ex-boyfriend once called me, “test run” phase as the problem with a deadbeat forcing herself into the non high-octane world of office work is that it’s quite difficult to explain to someone in the oatmeal profession of management why you’re “qualified” for the role.

What are you supposed to say?: “Yeah. I’ve done all the shit that’s mentioned in the job description. Here’s a piece of paper and a doctored LinkedIn profile that proves it.” Even that’s too long of a sentence in terms of attempting to conceal how beyond un-into it you are. You’re better off being permitted to go the Robin Williams route in Mrs. Doubtfire by simply saying, “I am job.” It should be a universally accepted three-word phrase that levels the playing field for all applicants so one doesn’t have to do more work getting the job than she will be actually doing the goddamn thing.