The Workplace As High School

When you’re a loser/inner goth in high school, many a teacher/guidance counselor likes to reassure you about your future by promising you that “the real world” is nothing like high school. In certain regards, this is true. Have I ever graphed a parabola outside of high school? No. Have I ever had to run an eight-minute mile in order to get an A in P.E.? Christ no.

But where high school and “the real world” collide is in the office atmosphere. Politicking is a key component to your social success in the workplace. And if you refuse? You’re relegated back to weirdo status. You’re basically deemed the one most likely to roll up to the office with a gun at any given moment. Yet all you really want is to exist in a world free of social castes. You can’t, though–the whole world is high school.