The Struggles of Stifling/Employer as Embalmer

“They’ll” add a lot of requirements and prerequisites to what is expected of a standard-issue office worker in the job description you vaguely skim through online and then suddenly just want to go to sleep after said light skimming because of how utterly tedious it looks. But what they really ought to put at the top of the list, priority-wise, for one’s skill set is the gift of stifling every thought, emotion and desire to honestly express oneself and/or scream at random to cope with the agony of prostitution.

That being said, if companies were as honest about what they truly wanted as, say, Jim Carrey as Fletcher Reede in Liar Liar, then maybe they would also provide each potential hire with a sewing kit to keep his mouth shut, mortuary-style. Yes, an employer, like any good old school embalmer, really ought to at least do their slaves this courtesy so as to, at the bare minimum, not have to make them suffer hearing the idle chat of others regarding some such folly as Game of Thrones. If they can’t say what they really want to say, then why force them to endure the mindless drivel of others? At least if stifling could be manifested, the office worker with a frontal lobe still intact might be able to keep it that way by not subjecting himself to the stupidity of those who can’t seem to suppress their idiocy. What’s more, there can be no denying that there’s a certain poetry to this notion of an employer acting as a sort of embalmer, sealing one’s final death by shutting his mouth and ears to anything pleasant left in the world.