On “Just Getting” Another Job

There are a number of people of the belief that if you’re miserable at one job, you can “just get” another. Well my dear corporate shills, this simply isn’t the case. First of all, you’re only trading your current misery for a different one as all forms of paid work are designed to eventually make you hate it. Apart from this more philosophical reason, there’s also the more concrete reason: Nothing “professionally satisfying” ever pays shit. Once you become accustomed to being on the tit of a high-paying company that does little to nurture creativity, it’s hard to take a pay cut and go back to eating 2 Bros. as a steady diet.

Aside from the inanity of finding a different job for any other reason than “growth,” “reinvention” or increased salary, it is also damn near impossible to convince an employer that you really give a shit about their company. Going to an interview is tantamount to sticking a turkey baster up your ass, because that’s the only way to get the exact strain of fake, forced smile that allures management. And so, sometimes you have to face the fact that a pain you’re used to is better than acclimating yourself to an entirely new one. Moreover, if you’re willing to spend any time on Craig’s List, it might as well be to purchase a woman or concert ticket.