Lying About Excel Skillz Will Bite You In The Ass

We all say things we don’t mean in order to get a job so that we can, to paraphrase Tyler Durden, pay for clothes and other shit to impress people we don’t really like. One of those things (apart from Photoshop) is Excel, a Microsoft Office classic that no one actually knows how to use except Asians and nebbish white men.

When you say you’re “advanced” at using it, this usually means you can type in some numbers into the boxes without making them disappear into the line. Apart from that, you’re fucked if your employer expects you to do anything else with it. But then, if you’re working at a job that’s Excel-heavy, you should probably just go on ahead and panhandle instead. It would be far more interesting.