Judgment Day: A.K.A. Returning to A Corporate Work Setting After Coming Back From A Long Vacation

Taking a vacation as an office worker, as we know by now, is the equivalent of positioning yourself as the person who gets picked last in P.E. By admitting that you don’t give a shit about your job and would instead prefer to live life by traveling whenever your vacation time permits, you are automatically ostracizing yourself from “the game.”

Non-participants in “the game” are worse than those are who are on the bottom rung of the boss’ approval rate. They are deemed weirdos for not being enthusiastic ass kissers and are treated with the respect of a snail. Returning from a long vacation further augments the office worker’s status as a piece of shit who deserves to die for not wanting to work all the time, preferring to let their vacation days accumulate and never actually use them. Plus, everyone secretly wants to tar and feather you for momentarily experience the outside world. So you goddamn well better bring back some souvenirs.