Holidays Get Earlier Every Year

Every year, the holidays seem to get even closer to the summer. It’s like one day, you wake up and it’s November and all of the sudden there are lights wrapped all over your body and you’re supposed to give a fuck about Christmas cheer–in fact your job and your co-workers demand it. Meanwhile, all you want is to go back to the non-secular summer, fraught with far fewer expectations and letdowns.

But no, if you’re not atwitter with the excitement and themed garb expected of Christians and Jews alike, you’re definitely going to lose some points with the boss. Or “worse,” not get invited to the orphaned co-workers holiday celebrations. Then again, is sitting alone in your apartment with a glassful of brandy really the most awful thing that could happen? No more awful than dragging your body to the cube every day.