Having to Go To Work The Day After Bowie’s Death

Mondays are a black pit of despair as it is. Throw in the mourning of David Bowie’s death the day prior and it’s looking particularly grim. If employers had any soul, they would rally to make every Monday following January 10th a holiday for office workers to pay their respects to a man who almost inspired them to be better and get out of office life.

Believe it or not, Bowie is a savior to office workers–perhaps even more than he is/was to musicians. Because Bowie represents the kind of freedom that cube shills once dreamed of possessing back when they were still experimenting with low effect drugs in college and fantasizing that they, too, could be great. He is a talisman for the weird, the inexplicable–in short, life itself. If anyone has the right to grieve for the absence of one of the last “freaky deakies” in existence, it’s office workers forced to hang around “normals” all day.