Friday the 13th in the Workplace: Don’t Do It

The risk one takes in going to work on a day to day basis is already extremely hazardous to the psyche. But incorporate Friday the 13th into the equation and you’ve now added the increased potential for bodily harm to come to you. Plus, there’s always an extremely viable chance that you’re probably going to wake up with a pimple the way you used to in high school and it will just so happen to be the same day that the only fuckable guy in the office gets hired to start.

But a pimple is small potatoes compared to getting trapped in the elevator, falling down a stairway or getting electrocuted by your computer keyboard (or something). No, no. You would do well to capitalize on your already well-used sick days on Friday the 13th. Because the last thing you need is to die in the workplace. Most likely, no one will even notice.