Convincing Yourself and Others That You’re Not Corporate By Partying on Weeknights

As Paris Hilton may have once said, only losers go out on Friday and Saturday nights as that’s the only time they can truly get wild. But if you want to battle the stench of corporateness emanating from your pores (which usually smells like weird food or Office Depot), you’ve got to 1) change your outfit and 2) hit the town on weeknights like you’ve got no place to be in the mornings. This strategy is useful to your well-being for a number of reasons.

The first and foremost motive for dragging your ass out Monday through Thursday, preferably to a bar in the somewhat more elegant part of Midtown between Fifth and Park Avenue, is so you can meet someone who may be able to take you out of the office–permanently. Anyone who’s going out during the week is either rich or crazy. Both of these qualities can work to your benefit if the person or group enjoys your company and wants you to continue to hang around. So when, one night, you decide to drop the bomb on them that you have to go to work in the morning, they’ll insist, “I’ll get you some freelance work at my dad’s company, don’t even worry about getting fired.” Of course, this strategy might not work instantaneously and you may need to invest into some more powerful eye cream until it does.