As I was made to understand, the entire point of moving to New York City was for the variety–how different it’s supposed to be from Middle America. However, spending eight hours a day in the Midtown/Times Square area is not in any way conducive to fortifying one’s faith in the belief that New York is in any way special or heterogenous (though there are still plenty of homo things about it).

Walking past places like Dallas BBQ, which serves drinks the size of a six-month old baby and could easily allow for you to gain two pounds by the time you’re out the door, you start to forget that you’re not in the town from whence you came. And then you start to wonder: why did I ever leave [insert suburban town’s name here]? It looked exactly the same and the cost of living was actually affordable.