Just when one thinks life working near Times Square couldn’t possibly get worse in the wake of Toys ‘R’ Us closing, New Year’s Eve comes along and, with it, the advent of every foreign (and blissfully ignorant of New York’s sadism) tourist to celebrate by watching the ball drop. The term “foreign” also applies to New Jerseyans, by the way.
And yet, it seems as though the only balls dropping are yours, as they’re crushed into a vise by your boss who won’t let you leave before the crowds start to funnel into the square with their wide-eyed looks and palpable drunkenness. After all, it’s already so nice of them to let you leave early (a.k.a. 3:30 p.m.) in the first place, isn’t it? Why would you want to rock the boat as the new year approaches by insisting that you’ve got to get the fuck out of Times Square before the hordes descend?