Remember when you were in elementary school and, because you were a child and therefore mildly retarded, you had to be given semi-regular drills on what to do in case of emergencies like, you know, a mass shooting or a fire? Alas, while you may have thought those drills were as over as your preadolescence, they continue to endure should you choose to work in a Midtown office building.
Apparently, even adults can’t be trusted to line up single file, concentration camp-style, without first being given a series of ceaseless monthly drills to prepare them for the disaster that will never come, as that would mean mercy existed and you could somehow be let out of your imprisonment via the hands of the gods. But, we know that, apart from 9/11, this has never happened in the annals of office worker history. Thus, it would be quite amazing if building management could dispense with the protocol and let the chips fall where they may should a fiery demise occur.