When You Tryna Be Hella Fly & Working FuQs With Your LooQ

The only thing worse than not being a socialite is having your day-to-day looQ fuQ’d with because you gotta be at a job. Whether this means compromising on wearing heels due to the fact that flats will get you to the office faster when you’re late or not being able to maintain a sickening nail length as a result of having to wield a mouse all day like it’s 1988 and you’re Melanie goddamn Griffith, there’s nothing worse than having your aesthetics hindered.

Another reason to believe that working is a conspiracy to make you turn ugly is the semi-strictly enforced dress codes (see: Denim Days). It’s bad enough one has to admit to being one of the pod people by succumbing to cube life, but then corporate has to go and make you dress like a pod person too. It’s all some sort of counterplot against being attractive or having any hope of ever being desirable to non-office workers a.k.a. rich people. You might as well just insert an elastic waistband into those jeans when you’re allowed to wear them and openly binge eat in your cube.