When No Amount of Shit Weather Can Get You Out of Working

The winter in New York is never kind. Often, you simply have to test the limits of how many times you can hit the snooze button on your alarm in order to cope. But sometimes, the weather is even crueler, providing non-stop blasts of wind and gusts of snow to pepper your daily commute with a more distinct form of torture.

Still, no matter how terrible it gets, it takes a fucking state government shutdown for the MTA to stop operating their precious trains. Thus, when no amount of shit weather can get you out of working and you must endure the severity of the elements among other enraged Midtown office workers as stupid as you for not calling out sick, all you can do, apart from curse your circumstances of birth as a non-socialite, is float up out of your body and pretend that’s not you packed on the train that’s “delayed due to train traffic ahead of us.”