What Is Workplace Appropriate?

Truth be told, nothing you do is ever going to be workplace appropriate so you might as well just slut up your ensemble. At least then, you can hope to have a sexual harassment case on your hands (or rather, on someone else’s). Adhering to the employee handbook dress code still manages to involve looking to Little Bo Peep for style inspiration in the corporate world. Even Hillary Clinton skirt suits can raise an eyebrow if the slit is too high.

So instead of following the sartorial guidelines to the letter, just do up your outfit with a fun, fashionable, prostitute spin. It usually makes other women in the office hate you and not want to talk to you (see: Erin Brockovich) or it makes the men either too afraid to talk or you get a lot of free lunches with drinks involved. Because, like Erin said, “As long as I have one ass instead of two, I’ll wear what I like if that’s all right with you.” Hey, it even has a Bo Peep rhyme to it.