What Do You Do? I’m An Office Worker

When people ask you what you do (especially fellow daytime Midtowners), and you’re expected to give them some sort of impressive title, like Executive Douche Bag’s Assistant, it seems utterly inane as all office jobs are created equal. No matter what your “role,” you are ultimately always just another desk chair sitter.

And so, the next time someone tries to put you in your place by questioning what your job is, just be frank and say, “I’m an office worker.” Yes, it’s almost as dirty and embarrassing as saying “sex worker,” but that’s what you are. You sit in front of a computer, you keep your body in the chair for a certain number of hours and you make K-cup coffee. These are the essential functions of your job, regardless of title.