Welcome to My Office

Although some might be hopeful that the cube will evolve and shed its barriered partitions (you know, like those startup companies in SoHo that have long shared desks with “bright, sunny space” to work more collaboratively in), I see it going in an entirely different direction: the pet porter for humans.

Why bother with the expense of cubicles when you can cut way back on the budget by providing your employees with a cube-like pet carrier? Not only does this limit the amount of fat people you hire (thereby cutting back on health insurance costs as well), but it also forces office workers to get rid of frills like family photos and decorations indicating some sort of personality. You can pop your head out for breaths of fresh air, and even stretch every once in awhile, if need be. Yes, pet porters are the wave of the office’s future. And you can step into my office anytime, provided you step on my face while you’re at it.