“Wanna Take A Tour?”

It’s inevitable that at least once a day while walking through the Midtown/Times Square area, you’ll be asked the question, “Wanna take a tour?” You, in turn, will want to respond, “Does it look like I’m a fucking tourist? I’m wearing pumps for fuck’s sake. Use your goddamn powers of observation.” But, of course, you will bite your tongue as that’s what you’re used to doing anyway.

And yet, even though it’s infuriating to be asked this question almost every day, one would, indeed, rather take a tour than return to the office. The thought of riding a double-decker bus with people who have the same sort of enthusiasm you used to have for New York when you first moved here actually sounds far more appealing than returning to the cube to troll the internet for the latest celeb gossip. To see New York with a tourist’s eyes might actually lend you the ability to return to work with a renewed sense of why you decided to whore yourself out for this locale in the first place. But alas, you will simply put your blinders on, pick up the pace in your pumps (in spite of how agonizing it feels) and forge ahead back into the recesses of your building where you will, instead, take a tour of spreadsheets and Word documents.