Trying To Kill With Kindness, But It’s Obvious You’re Just Trying to Kill

When Monday comes ’round, it’s always a particular challenge to sustain one’s veneer of “pleasantness.” Though, generally speaking, “pleasantness” just means not stabbing anyone who comes near you with the useless ballpoint pen on your desk. This urge to resist revealing any form of animal-like behavior is most commonly tempered with a thick, jelly-esque layer of false amiability that can best be accrued via the consumption of Irish coffee.

However, some people aren’t necessarily as blacked out to overt auras of mood as you think they are, and will quickly pick up on your fakeness. It’s like shoving a bouquet of flowers in a girl’s face when, as a man, you’re just trying to get to the “meat and potatoes.” And that metaphorical meal is, as we all know, getting to the end of the workday without a murder charge.