To borrow loosely from Cher Horowitz, “Trying to find coffee in Midtown in the morning is like trying to find meaning in a Pauly Shore movie–utterly impossible.” It’s not that there isn’t a wide variety of Starbucks to choose from. It’s that they’re all packed to the gills with fellow office workers who also thought they would have time to get their caffeine fix before forcing themselves into their cell blocks cubicles.
And so, with lines out the door at every Sbux from 34th to 42nd, you must force yourself to leave the line and endure the first part of your workday sans coffee, which means you are more of a raging, hateful cunt than usual. But even the biggest cunt doesn’t deserve to go without caffeine, or worse, subject him or herself to K-cup coffee.