This Job Is Driving Me to Eat, Drink, Blow Rails: All the Things That Should Be Enjoyable But Are Just Coping Tactics

It is sometimes the case that all of life’s great pleasures are turned to in times of crisis. As Rosalind of As You Like It said, “Why then, can one desire too much of a good thing?” Bitch because there’s nothing else to numb the pain of living like a caged animal.

You’ll start out small after you’ve been working in one cube for about six months. Hitting the bottle, going to the bar. But then, you’ll turn to other sources of solace, like food, to keep you from tearing your hair out or expressing anger toward anyone else in the office other than yourself. Finally, you will start to blow rails in the bathroom as you take a shit and/or masturbate as the next level step toward trying to feel alive again. But it’s likely you never will.