The Theory That Putting a Blow-Up Doll Replica of Yourself in Your Office Chair Is More Effective Than Actually Being There

If you’re too young/too above it all to have ever seen the Christmas special for Pee-Wee’s Playhouse, 1) fuck you and 2) you’re really missing out on some important life lessons. One of the most important being that all you really need in this life is a good blow-up doll (for non-sexual purposes of course) that looks faintly like you in order to get you out of less than savory situations.

Pee-Wee, while talking on his video phone (or “Picturephone”) with Dinah Shore, who wishes him a Merry Christmas by singing him a song that takes a little too long for Pee-Wee to deal with, puts up a blow-up doll look-alike in his place to bear the brunt of his agony. This ingenious tactic is also perfect for your office chair, as most people simply just want to be reassured that a body is there, whether it’s actually working or not. Because naturally you’re working if you’re in front of a computer, right?