The Solar Eclipse Is the One Day of the Year You Can Black Out At Work & No One Can Say Anything

If the earth is permitted the luxury of blacking out at 1:23 p.m. on August 21st, shouldn’t you, too, be allowed the same courtesy? Like Cady Heron pointing out that “Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it,” it’s only fair for someone equally as out-of-touch with reality (or rather, in touch with it) who was raised outside of the Western world or whatever to mention the same loophole regarding the eclipse.

As the moon converges with the sun, descending upon it to stifle it like employer to employee, it will be lunch hour, the Midtown feeding frenzy, to be exact. All rules will go out the revolving door to your office as every suit and skirt suit becomes hopelessly distracted by a scientific phenomenon that actually tends to happen rather often if you’re willing to travel for it. But while everyone else is caught up with the “majesty” of “nature,” the more jaded (read: those who know better) might seize upon this opportunity to take to their local bar (Rudy’s or Jimmy’s Corner being most ideal and centrally located) to black out just as gracefully as Earth plans to for this one momentous day out of the year–or more accurately, the one that is massively reported on by news media.