The Open Door Policy

While the corporation relishes hiring a perpetual army of pinched sphincter’d, fake smiling till they bleed automatons, the one person they will not hire is someone with even a shred of the simpatico within them. And if this ilk does manage to eke by in an interview, that simpatico shred will soon be stamped out upon the revelation that the company’s “open door policy”–the one that they went on about in the interview that assured you would always be able to express yourself freely–only applies to the acceptance of assholes.

This is vaguely why the term didn’t become a member of the layman’s vocabulary until Nixon’s only presidential accomplishment: opening foreign trade with China. Because it takes an asshole to helm an asshole’s concept. And in having this open arms approach to hiring, the corporation propagates the high school lifestyle that so vehemently made J.D. in Heathers want to blow up the entire institution. And it’s easy for those like him to get the Kool-Aid injected into dissatisfied weak link types of the Veronica Sawyer bent to join in his cause of rebellion. Yet, like a Hydra of the rectal variety, when a small percentage of the soul-possessing attempts to cut out the asshole-pervasive work population via J.D. means, another group of assholes crop up in the same place. The door is always open (this is also an innuendo to getting anally raped by those who control your bank account balance).

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