There are so precious few random Mondays an office worker is allowed off. Martin Luther King Jr. Day (well, sometimes), Memorial Day, Veterans Day and, somewhat as complicatedly as Not My President’s Day, Columbus Day. So when one can no longer ignore the moral reprehensibility of “celebrating” Washington’s Birthday, which somehow devolved into a “celebration” of all presidents, it can be very disheartening as there’s already little in the way of arbitrary long weekends to relish. And while, yes, presidents before the ominous comic book villain that is The Orange One have partaken of their fair share of heinousness (even and especially the lauded JFK), it feels like never before has a “Commander-in-Chief” done so much to besmirch the already tarnished perception of the U.S. government.
Even in comparison to fellow rapist/sexual assaulter Grover Cleveland (whose said assault led to the birth of his illegitimate child) or fellow fatso William Taft or fellow believer in the press being controlled by men of wealth Calvin Coolidge or fellow white supremacist Andrew Johnson (“This is a country for white men, and by God, as long as I am President, it shall be a government for white men.”), The Orange One somehow still manages to take the cake and eat it too for being the most shining example of why it’s shameful to participate in any way with the acknowledgement of Presidents Day. This includes an office worker accepting her day off even if it’s one of the few perks of enduring corporate life, and all so she can take advantage of accordingly grotesque Presidents Day sales at places that will afford her the very most middle class of skirt suits.
So, in essence, if you really want to be a true conscientious objector of an American, go to work on this day. It will not only get you “points” as a valuable employee, but also as a valuable denizen of the U.S. not content to take the bribe of a day off in exchange for condoning longstanding presidential iniquity.