The Day After

The day after a holiday is just another in an endless string of reasons for you to give the excuse to your boss that you rolled up roughly an hour and a half late because, well, it was a three-day weekend and you were just trying to squeeze the fun out of it.

And so, as you and your fellow co-workers band together to wield the explanation of the bacchanalian goings-on of your pitiful weekend to explain away not just the lateness and groggery of your being, but also why you’re practically crawling on the ground from a hangover, he or she will use it for personal gain. Because, you know, it’s every boss’ secret fantasy to stand over an employee on all fours. There’s something both sexually demeaning and dictatorial about it.