Standing or Sitting, You’re Simply Not There

Whether you’re growing your office booty whilst sitting in your cube staring at the screen of fake spreadsheets and Word documents open in front of you or you’re standing in front of the K-cup machine wondering where it all went wrong, you are, like a famed American psycho, simply not there.

It’s not that you’re vapor or anything (like Rachel Leigh Cook in She’s All That), it’s just that, to everyone else, you might as well be a stand-in. You’re not inside your body, for one, and for another, most people in the office world see anyone non-communicative or not into partaking of sheet cake festivities as filler, placeholders until a more enthusiastic, less dead inside employee comes along. So just bide your time until you can rip off your glycolic peel mask and finally be yourself again. Unless, of course, you’ve stayed inside the confines of the cube so long you don’t know who that is anymore.