Sheet Cakes (Which, Appropriately, Sounds Like “Shit Cakes” When Said With A European Accent)

If it weren’t for office culture, sheet cakes probably would have gone the way of the dodo a long time ago. Its girth, combined with the homogeneity to suit every occasion, makes the sheet cake an ideal offering in the break room, kitchen area or conference room.

Often, they come pre-made with some sort of congratulatory message like “Happy Birthday!” or “Happy Anniversary!” And, if your boss or the office hen is feeling particularly sentimental toward you, they might even personalize it with your name. But what if you were to personalize it to them? Nothing ruins a sheet cake for deranged office workers who relish any opportunity for free food like “Fuck you, I quit” icing.