Repressing the Desire to Blackmail Your Boss

There comes a point in every boss-employee relationship when the pleasantries and forced smiles quickly begin to fade away. The boss grows tired of “gentle nudging” in order to seem “nice” and the employee can no longer stand the difficulty of putting on airs that make him or her seem like he or she wouldn’t easily machete the shit out of someone if pushed too far. And, because most who ascend to upper management have plenty to be blackmailed for, the desire for revenge against the mere fact that you’re an underpaid underling can only grow stronger with each passing day.

Thus, the employee conveniently re-encounters American Beauty (and even Office Space) at a time in his or her life when it is most necessary–and perhaps most dangerous in terms of how tempting it is to take a cue from the events showcased within it. For Kevin Spacey as Lester Burnham is a true inspiration to anyone who wishes to blackmail his or her boss and escape the clutches of nondescript corporate drudgery. And, no, there is no more satisfying person to say “Go fuck yourself” to than your boss–except maybe your ex, which, if you’re playing your office cards right, you’ve probably already garnered¬†from working at your place of business for so long.