Picturing “The Future”

There are so many unpleasant aspects about the cube, but one of the all-time worst ones is when the time comes for a yearly “evaluation” and your supervisor/slaveowner inquires about where you see yourself in the future. As if it isn’t excruciating enough to acknowledge your present at “the company.”

What you’ll want to say is the truth, which is, “I’m trying to imagine myself in this same job one year from now…but I’m just not seeing any pictures.” Instead you’ll vomit out lies about how you want to “grow” within “the organization,” and that you’re constantly seeking new opportunities to “expand your skill set” and “be a team player.”

After exiting the room in which you poured out all of these egregious untruths, you’ll want to resume your daily shitting schedule so that you might cleanse out a modicum of your douche baggery. Along with the image of yourself at this job for more than another day.