On Having A LinkedIn Profile

The hard reality is, if you have a LinkedIn profile, you’re way too into the illusion of your career. You should probably just get accustomed to the idea that you’re never going to have enough “connects” and that if you were any kind of a big deal, you wouldn’t need one. The strongest, most influential connections, after all, are made at Met Galas and charities for kids with rare diseases.

In essence, a LinkedIn is this sort of mutt hybrid of Facebook and an online resume that has the misfortune of taking itself seriously. Plus, when you have one of said profiles, people actually know where you work, and that can be quite humiliating. It takes all the fun out of embellishing references and past jobs to the point where it feels as though you’re applying to grad school, which is far more important than getting a job, as it buys you the luxury of a loose schedule for the next two years and change. Moreover, if Jack Donaghy disapproves of a LinkedIn profile, then you might as well face the fact that you’re always going to be MTV freelancer material.