I know it’s hard to wake up on most days, but Monday is the crowning jewel of difficulty (unless you’re one of those New York service industry people with a non-conventional schedule–you may have Monday off, asshole, but you still have to work on holidays).
Sometimes, this can lead to a few tears as you wait out your sorrow before applying your makeup onto your damp, bloated face. But there’s a way to minimize your facial salinity. Step 1) Make coffee. Step 2) Pour coffee into cup. Step 3) Put whiskey into coffee. Step 4) Drink entire cup. Step 5) Voilà. No more tears Monday.