Because an appreciation of things that truly matter is never a factor in American life, least of all office life, it’s rare for co-workers and “superiors” alike to pay respect to things you are good at multitasking. Like drinking while curling your hair. Or drinking while putting your makeup on. No, they want you to be adept at other multitasking activities like answering questions in correspondence while talking on the phone while writing tag lines for emails that no one is going to open.
But where is the reverence for all those activities you can perform at once outside of work, eh? Where the fuck is it? Sure, you’re not getting paid to get drunk while you primp yourself—if that was a living, we’d all be far richer. Still, there ought to be some goddamn respect for it, an employee of the month award for the office worker who came to work looking the best while clearly hungover. Oh fuck it, it doesn’t matter. You’re far too beautiful to work here anyway. Maybe if your other co-workers multitasked at their beauty regime, they could say the same.