Marveling at the Number of Times You Can Hit Snooze on Your Alarm During Winter

“Just ten more minutes,” you assure yourself as you snuggle back into the warmth of your covers and readjust your pillow after hitting the snooze button on your alarm/phone. But another ten minutes turns into forty after pressing that button four more times, minimum. This desire to keep sleeping is compounded by the freezing temperatures that make you wonder why you, too, can’t hibernate like a goddamn bear during the winter.

For you see, going to Midtown is bad enough in normal conditions, but add inclement weather to the list of hardships an office worker commuting to this location must endure and it all becomes too much to withstand. How can one possibly be expected to trek through rain, wind and/or snow without at least the promise of additional pay for doing so? It all seems so archaic, so utterly within the jurisdiction of cruel and unusual punishment that it only encourages sleeping in until ten and rolling up at eleven, a win-win in terms of missing the height of the rush hour commute.