Making the Most of Advancement Potential At Company Happy Hours

While the dreaded work happy hour tends always to be at a place both low-budget and cheesy (see: Beer Authority), what makes it most dreaded of all is the fact that you must attempt, in some haphazard fashion, to pretend to find something in common with these randodos called your co-workers other than idle chitchat about the latest “project.” This is made even more challenging when you, like Jennifer Aniston in Picture Perfect, have nothing going on in your life that’s tantamount to those in your workplace, so determined to stay the course of the common trajectory that is getting married, buying a house and spawning.

This can make grappling for an empathetic subject a pronounced hurdle. That is, unless, of course, you work at one of those rare companies where men in power actually show up to these rinky dink affairs. In which case, there is something you can do. Something classic, tried and true. And while Liz Lemon would dissuade you from using “your sexuality” as a means to get what you want, it has to be said that your brain certainly isn’t going to get it. If possible, go in on the pursuit with the only other “unattached” woman at the company. The only thing better than one woman interested is two–orgy potential and all (at least in the delusional male’s mind). It might just get you elevated from “junior” to “mid-level.” You can forget about senior though.