Looking Pale in the Summer: An Office Worker’s Plight

In addition to the drawbacks of lack of blood flow, mental atrophy and being stuck under the thumb of middle management, another great plight of the office worker occurs specifically during the summer. That plight, dear fellow sufferers, is looking markedly pale in comparison to the rest of the city outside of Midtown.

Because your vacation time in the fascist state known as America is limited to two weeks per annum, you might not necessarily take all of it during the summer. Sparingly parsing out the days you have over the course of the year, you’ll maybe take, at most, a week off in the blistering days that place a sexual scourge on NYC. This is why you tend to look like Elmer’s paste in contrast to others who are either 1) are rich or 2) have the gall to use tanning beds even though New York is supposed to stand for everything Los Angeles doesn’t. You, instead, will march in dishonor to your cube, white as a Greek toga and downtrodden as an Emile Zola character.