Looking Back on Past Jobs You’ve Had Like A Marriage to Sean Penn

When we first procure a job, an unavoidable feeling of elation pervades us before it turns to dread. We feel as though someone has validated our worth–actually wants to pay us to do something within our “skill set” (of course, it isn’t until later down the line we realize they would’ve hired any imbecile to fill the role).

After years of reflection within the job, as well as eventually being given the merciful ability to quit at some point, we are finally able to look back at certain valleys in our “careers” (though desk-sitting does not a career make) like Madonna or Robin Wright might to her marriage with Sean Penn. Yes, it was exciting at the time, novel even–kept us on our toes–but, in the end, what the fuck were we thinking? We’re so much better than that.