Interviews: A Study in How to Lie

Lying is an art integral to securing a desk job. “Are you accomplished in Microsoft Excel?” “Do you know how to use the Adobe Suite?” “Are you able to wear many hats?” To the latter, it’s always a challenge not to say, “Only if they’re condoms.”

In fact, it’s a challenge to refrain from screaming a random barrage of obscenities in general. But go on enough interviews, and you’ll suddenly find how easy it is to start lying about even the most basic of things, like your interests. “Oh yes, I love soccer. I’d love to join the company team.” Or even your relationship status. “My boyfriend told me about that place, it sounds great!” You don’t have a boyfriend. But there’s just something so easy about making shit up once you get into the rhythm of interviews. It’s almost worth it for the life you can make up to spend an hour talking to a person who probably ain’t gon give you the job.