Hating What You’ve Got to Be A Shill For

As it is, it’s already emotionally extracting to flounce into a workplace pretending to have a good attitude lest you get accused of having “a case of the Mondays.” It’s even more draining, though, when you also have to act as a shill for a company or product that’s either 1) sans morality (they all are, aren’t they? ‘Tis the nature of making money) or 2) utterly embarrassing. You know, the type of place you would never want to declare to anyone that you worked at short of being black out wasted or held at gunpoint, Cher Horowitz-style.

No, there is no sense of pride to be had in peddling something you don’t believe in, like, say, a Dooney & Bourke bag, for example. And yet, when you’ve put a price on your soul as you inevitably have in choosing to work in an office (or at all), there’s not much to be done other than put on a half-hearted smile that makes it look as though a puppeteer’s hand is up your ass and hold up your shitty endorsement for all to see. Come on now, darling, they’re paying you.