In spite of the fact that you’re never really doing anything whilst sitting in your cube, in those moments when a wave of actual work ambushes you, you find yourself suddenly wishing you had a separate hand on each finger to finish the task you’re paid $60,000+ a year for quickly so that you can get back to doing nothing.
Or perhaps you could use those extra hands to apply for jobs in a more rapid-fire fashion, as taking the time to send a resume to just one company tends to fill upwards of forty-five minutes to an hour, especially when you’re trying to think of any good reason why you’re “qualified” for the position. Plus, you could probably get an orgasm a lot faster during your fifteen-minute break spent fondling your phone/genitalia in the bathroom.